Sometimes I find myself in need of a good tune up!
There was a time when I actively sought out energy work. I can say with confidence that it helped me get to where I am today in many ways. Mainly it has developed my emotional maturity, aided me in overcoming pains and trauma I was experiencing and really helped me gain perspective as to why I was going through what I was.
I suppose life started rolling a lot more smoothly at some point and seeking out energy clearing got overlooked.
The beginning of 2017 brought about the end of a really important relationship in my world. Important in the way that it was filled with so many lessons for me to learn and grow from but also in the way that I was left with a broken heart as I truly thought I had found "the one". Heavy, I know.
My energy was less than ideal by this point. My heart was heavy, my excitement of beginning the next phase of my life with my person shattered, my perspective unfocused. My reality changed in an instant and I wasn't prepared.
I spent some time grieving of course but eventually I got to a place where I didn't want to grieve anymore, I was ready to feel differently and start my path of recovery but my emotions and thoughts didn't seem to be on the same page as they kept cycling through the same old stuff.
After listening to me rehash my relationship over and over, my friend Jessica reminded me of energy work and gave me the number to a healer whom she trusts.
I booked a session immediately. A one hour session over the phone is all it took and things started to change.
My focus with our session was geared towards my breakup, abundance or lack there of, and how it all tied into my relationship with my mother. My blog on the specifics will be posted next.
During the session I began feeling lighter like I was given more space to breathe and be me. The following day emotions compounded and came to a head. I began to feel nauseous and it was like something was digging into my chest. It got so overwhelming that I felt compelled to call the x and see how he was. Let's just say that phone call wasn't very positive and once it was over I cried. It felt like my tears released everything overwhelming and the storm was over. I could breathe again.
My emotions released and I could now see clearer. I began recognising the lessons available to me and healing.
A couple weeks later I had the opportunity to visit my parents for a week and I took it. I learned more about my mom and dad in this one week than perhaps ever before. It was radical.
In summation, I learned how my x's behavior towards me represented that of my own mothers. I now have a far greater understanding of the dynamic we share and who I need to be toward myself in order to fill the approval I have been seeking from my parents for as long as I can remember.
The clarity I have with my last relationship is far greater than I could have imagined.
I also know that I am not responsible for helping those I love grow emotionally or spiritually. Everyone has their own journey and time-line and they get to decide what they want next. I need to allow people to hit rock bottom (if that is where they are going) so they can be driven to change and choose to pursue it themselves.
This has been an emotional time and a time filed with exponential growth. Would I have reached this place without the energy clearing? Quite possibly yes but I am certain it would have taken far longer to achieve.
I want to get to where I want to go swiftly, if my relationship is over I want to grieve and learn and be onto the next . After all, there are new people to meet and places to explore, and I won't be here forever so time is of the essence. Also... there is something to be said for feeling good.